Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. It is the day appointed by The Church that Mary and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem looking for lodging and received accommodations with the animals. I am thinking of homes to day and what it takes to make a home. I am indebted to my son Gordon in his pastor’s column and to my friend, Dr. David King, retired New Testament professor.

“No room for them in the inn” is the way the biblical account reads and this has spawned a number of images of Mary and Joseph going to all of the motels in Bethlehem only to find “No Vacancy!” signs in all of the windows. Dr. King, who spent 26 years in the Middle East teaching New Testament at the seminary level, told me that “old-time” Palestinian homes had two sections: the dirt floor is the front part of the one-room house that serves as a barn in which to keep the family’s animals at night so they will not wander off or be stolen. The back half of the house has a raised platform about four feet high which covers the back portion, wall to wall. The family lives on the platform which is covered with a smooth plaster and this makes for ease in cleaning.

Dr. King also pointed out that the word “inn” found in Luke 2:7 is used two other times in the New Testament, both of which refer to the guest room built on the roof of “old-time” Palestinian homes. Here is Dr. King’s explanation of that first Christmas Eve. Mary and Joseph go to the home of one of his relatives - Bethlehem was his “hometown.” There was no room for Mary and Joseph in “inn” (guest chamber on the roof) as other family visitors were occupying that facility. So Mary and Joseph stayed in the family house, close to the animals and manger and close to those who loved them. Mary and Joseph were not homeless refugees when Jesus was born. They had all of the essentials of a home - shelter, family, and lots of love. Home is, after all, the place where we are loved. Home is where family is. Some homes are big and fancy. Some homes are small and modest. Some homes are not even real clean. But if there is shelter, family, and love, that place is home.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day - my favorite holiday. It is a day of family togetherness and it is the official beginning of the Christmas season.  I love this day!

If we can do these things, then Thanksgiving 2009 will keep faith with its beginning. Let’s do it!
 

Yesterday I went back to my endocrinologist, Dr. Carlos Verdonk at Scott & White Hospital for a final evaluation until I finish at M D Anderson.  I am going to stay with M D Anderson until I complete my work with the Southwest Chinese Baptist Church in Houston.
 

The blood marker, Calcitonin, that indicates the presence of Medullary cancer cells in the body, was down from my test in August.   In August my Calcitonin level was 100 (it was 3500 at the time of my surgery in 2006).  My blood draw in November revealed a decrease to 84.  It is always a good sign to see the Calcitonin marker going down indicating less Medullary activity.  But it is likely to show an increase when I have my next blood draw in April.
 

I have to keep focused on the fact that Medullary Thyroid Cancer is a disease like diabetes – as yet, no known cure.  The best we can do is monitor and manage.
 

So, between now and April I intend to focus on my life counting in the Kingdom’s service and “taking no thought for the morrow.”  I am blessed to have a place of service among some of God’s choicest people whom I love and who love me back.  I have no pain and lots of energy.  I don’t think it gets any better than this.
 

This year the Atkinson family has much for which to be thankful and we ARE grateful.  Thank you, dear Lord!  And thanks to each of you who care enough about me to want to know how things are going.  Grace and peace!

The tests confirmed what we already knew - the medullary cancer has returned and the nodules in my chest are positive with the cancer.  The tests also indicated that the cancer has not spread to the liver, lungs, or bones - the places where medullary cancer usually spreads from a beginning in the thyroid.

At my three to four month checkup in August a couple of nodules were discovered in my upper chest area.  This discovery along with an increase in the cancer markers in my blood caused my doctor to order a endoscopic biopsy of the nodules.  The biopsy confirmed our suspicions and located another involved nodule.  They are located on the front side of my esophagus, adjacent to my heart. 

My surgeon told me that surgery was an option, but the risks were elevated because of the scar tissue from my surgery in 2006 and the location of the three nodules.  In consultation with my endocrinologist and surgeon, Janell and I decided to transfer to M. D. Anderson in Houston for an evaluation.  M. D. Anderson is experimenting with some chemotherapy for my kind of cancer.  My first appointment is on September 30 and I will be tested and evaluated for a week to see if I am a good candidate for their experimental program of treatment. 

And, can you believe this — Last March I accepted the invitation of the Southwest Chinese Baptist Church in Houston to be their Intentional Interim Pastor.  Several of the members of the church are doctors and other medical personnel employed at M. D. Anderson.  Janell and I are staying in our Casita travel trailer when we are in Houston.  And where is our trailer parked?  We are permanently parked at Lakeview RV Resort on South Main about 5 miles from M. D. Anderson Hospital. 

Janell and I have the most wonderful sense of God’s provisional presence in our lives.  We are in His hands — It is a good place to be!

My kind of cancer - Medulary Thyroid Cancer, produces a protein called Calcitonin.  Just before my surgery last October, my Calcitonin level was 3500.  I don’t know what 3500 is, but I am pretty sure it is not 3500 pounds.  The level was high, however, seeing that it should have been zero.

The following are the numbers from four check-ups:
–Dec - 19
–Feb - 29
–May - 32
–Aug - 28
 
The significance of the numbers is: There are some Medulary cancer cells still in my body, but their size is insignificant.  They are so microscopic that they can not be recognized.  And while the number should be zero, the numbers indicate that the cancer is not active.  One of the characteristics of Medulary cancer - it is slow growing and it may be years before it will be large enough to address. 
 
As we walked out, I said, “Thanks for the great report!”  And Dr. Verdonk said, “No, Rev. Atkinson, ‘Thank God for the great report!’”
 
How about that!

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been thinking about communication. I have particularly focused on communication between couples, but the principles I have used will hold up in communication between employers and employees, between parents and children, or between friends.

When ever good communication takes place, there is a message sent and the same message is received. While it is important that the sender of the message send a message that is clear, it is equally important that the listener listen with only one goal in mind — to understand.

Most of the listening we do has the gathering of facts as the goal. We want to get facts so we can make a judgment about what is said, i.e., is it true? is it worthwhile? do we want to do that? Sometimes we gather facts in order to defend our selves against the sender.

When good communication takes place, the listener listens with their whole being. Their ears are tuned in, certainly, but their eyes are focused, and their whole body says, “I am interested in what you are saying.” Good listening means letting your eyes light up - raising your eyebrows - expressing interest verbally like, “Oh, wow!” “Is that right?” “Are you serious?” “How about that!” People tend to keep talking about a subject that they think someone is interested in.

People who are skilled at listening are concerned with two tasks: 1) They must hear and understand what the speaker is saying, making sure that they are not hearing more than the speaker is saying. 2) They must encourage the speaker to continue to communicate.

The following suggestions for improving listening skills comes from Drs. Genie and Preston Dyer in their book The Language of Married Love. The Dyers teach in the sociology department at Baylor University.

1. Create an environment for listening. Turn off the TV, remove books or news papers from your hands. Minimize the possibility of interference.

2. Give your full attention to your partner. Face your partner, maintain eye contact and touch when appropriate.

3. Refrain from offering advice or criticisms that stops the other’s expression.4. Avoid use of “Why?” Ask “how,” “what,” “where,” or “when” questions. Ask questions to increase understanding but never to fix blame.

4. Ask “how,” “what,” “where,” or “when” questions. Ask questions to increase understanding but never to fix blame.5. Check in with your partner occasionally to see if you are understanding. Use phrases/questions like: “I understand you to be saying…,” “Are you saying…,” or “I am understanding that you think…”

6. Listen for feelings behind the words. Be aware of your partners feelings. Accept those feelings even if you are in disagreement. Failure to be aware of feelings behind the words is often a major hindrance to understanding.

LISTENING—real listening is a wonderful gift to give to a spouse or a child. Nothing affirms another’s worth like taking the time/trouble to listen in order to understand. In my church, tradition we have a service of affirmation called the “Laying on of Hands.” What is needed in our homes is a “laying on of ears.” The next time you want to give a gift to a family member and know that the gift will be appreciated, give the gift of listening.

In the early 1970’s a group of academics from the University of Minnesota studied the way couples communicate and they discovered that couples communicate in basically four styles of communication. This study has expanded into the communication seminars called “Couple Communication I and II.” The four styles of communication are:

I came across a word the other day. I think it must have been made up because I have checked a couple of dictionaries, but failed to find it. In spite of the fact that dictionaries do not dignify the word by inclusion, I like it.